Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been over a month since I’ve updated my blog - such a slacker right?! Well, not exactly. 

I honestly haven't had time with all the changes (see David Bowie below for a little song action) that have taken place in the last 30 days. First off, I left my job at Fox. Yes, I did it. As bittersweet as it was, and as hard as it was leaving all the amazing people I work with (especially 5 ladies in particular - you know who you are) - it was time to leave and move onto new adventures. 

One - because I am starting my own little, one-man band media company that provides top-of-the-line (that's right... top-of-the line) freelance writing and producing. If you know anyone who needs those services - let me know! Two - because I want to establish myself and still thrive in my career despite the fact that I will be becoming a mom soon ... hopefully soon. And three - I COULD NOT and WILL NOT subject myself to one more second of that all out soul-sucking commute I had to do 5 days a week. So that's that. It's a new day and a new world for me. 

One last work note before I move onto other news. My last article and video I got to do at FOX was about a beautiful 4-year-old girl from Ethiopia who was found by a non-profit organization based in Seattle who specializes in helping ET kids with medical issues. Her name is Sami and she was suffering from a massive venous malformation on her face. Of course the growth was impossible not to notice, but after just a few seconds with her, all of that disappears and you just focus on her big brown eyes and the fact that she is so strong and so resilient. Check out the video. 

VIDEO: A Second Chance for Sami

As all of you know by now, Ken and are adopting from Ethiopia and have officially been waiting for about nine months. At the same time, we also started to pursue domestic adoption. Remember that 22 page profile that took two days to put together? Well, it has paid off. Our lawyer called us the night before my last day at work (talk about timing - I think it's a sign) and said that she sent out our profile to a 19-year-old prospective birth mom in Texas. 

Well, apparently she liked our profile because she called our lawyer back right away to say that she wanted to call us. When I heard that, my stomach started to flip out a little bit. 

How surreal! What was I even going to say to this young woman? Was I going to babble on the phone? Was I going to say something wrong? Our lawyer told us to just be ourselves, but it wasn’t like I was having a conversation with just anyone. This could be and might be the person I am forever connected to, and incredibly grateful to, for being the birth mother of a child that may become my child one day soon – Our kid. I felt like I was going to throw up. But Ken snapped me out of it and I picked up the phone and dialed her number. 

At the other end was a sweet, southern-drawl voice. We talked for about 20 minutes about why she liked our profile, how old far along she is (she’s due in the spring– so it’s still early) and we just chit-chatted. It was surreal – but after I hung up I felt pretty good about it. Since then we have been texting and setting up a time for all three is us to talk.

And speaking of that call, just 30 minutes ago my lawyer called to say that D (the birth mom) wants to have a call with me and Ken tomorrow to tell us some “good news.” She said she knew what it was, but D had asked her not to say anything, so she wasn’t going to tell me unless I asked her to. As hard it was for me not to scream “TELL WHAT IT IS NOW PLEASE!” … I wanted to respect D’s wishes. So, now we will have to wait until tomorrow to find out what it is.

I guess I will just spend the next 24 hours obsessing. She already told me that twins run in her family -- all three of her sisters have twins. So who knows! 

But of course she would have to pick us first. Stay tuned.

The Profile...

I have been completely delinquent with my blog these past few weeks - but I must say it has been for good reason. 

1. I've been distracted by the summer weather (who hasn't) 

2. Ken and I have been entrenched in hiring a lawyer for domestic adoption (we are keeping our options open) 

3. I've obsessed, re-written, re-formatted and spent hours upon hours putting together what we like to call the "book of our lives," which translates to a profile that is shown to prospective birth mothers.

4. And of course... there's work too.

Now, let's talk about this "profile" for a moment shall we. Our lawyer told us to spend an hour (yes, just 1 hour) writing up an outline of how we met, our relationship, how long we've been married, our childhood, our family, our friends, our house, how we see ourselves as parents etc etc.

Really, an hour.... Please people! In reality it turned out to be like 20 hours and 22 pages long (including pictures). Thank god I had my friend Linda (along with some vino) to help me through it. I was so exhausted at the end of the process that I looked it over and I thought "Would I like these people? Would I want them to be the parents of my unborn child."

With that said, I still stuck that document in a FedEx envelope and overnighted it to a lawyer in Tennessee who was meeting with a prospective birth mother the next day. (By the way $90 bucks to overnight that thing! As my friend at work said - I could have filled up my Mini twice and gotten that document there in the same amount of time.)

A few hours after the meeting took place, our lawyer called and said it had gone well, that the women had pure intentions and was serious about placing her child for adoption. 

That was 7 days ago and we still haven't heard anything - but that's OK with me - because in the beginning I told myself that I wasn't going to invest a lot in this meeting. I was just going to look at it as an opportunity that could possibly turn into something else. So that's where we are. 

Still on the waiting list for Ethiopia and at the same time pursuing domestic. Who knows where this road will end up taking us...

Truly Heartbreaking...

I can't imagine being one of these mothers - and making the choices they have to make. This article says it all.

Children Abandoned on East Africa's "Roads of Death"

We'll Always Have Spain...

This has been a pretty crazy week – and the thing is – it’s only Wednesday. So I will start from the beginning.
Ken and I flew back from an amazing trip to the Basque region of Spain on Sunday night.  We spent 10 days roaming around  the shores of San Sebastian, to the Rioja wine region…  we made a quick stop in Pamplona to run with the bulls (yes, you read that right. My husband can finally cross it off his bucket list) … and then we were off to Barcelona.

Needless to say it was a once-in-a-lifetime trip – truly great.  Lots of delicious food, wine, cocktails (they make a mean tableside gin and tonic) and of course lots of time not thinking about work and definitely no Blackberry’s (which is huge for my husband).
Of course no Blackberry means no access to email, which brings me to the rollercoaster of a week we’ve already had. On Monday, after cleaning out the 900-plus emails out of my work inbox, I checked my yahoo and came across an email from our agency featuring several new “waiting” children. These are kids who are waiting either due to their age of a medical condition.
And here’s where the trouble started. As soon as I opened it up…I gazed upon the most precious little face.  Ken and I had never even thought about adopting a waiting child, but this little peanut changed our mind instantly. I immediately emailed our case worker for additional information… and the race was on. I had 24 hours to contact an international adoption physician to review his medical records because another family had requested to be matched with him… and that matching meeting was scheduled to take place on Wednesday at noon.
The pressure was on, but I’m in news – and deadlines are my thing – so I wasn’t worried. On top of tracking down an adoption specialist, I connected with two other doctors who dropped everything to look through the paperwork. All of them gave us the thumbs up.
A few hours later – we threw our hat into the ring. Although both Ken and I were cautiously optimistic, it was nearly impossible to contain our excitement. It was coming out of my pores.  After all that we’ve been through – it could finally be time for us to be parents. Finally.
Today at work was excruciating. I spent it staring at the clock on the bottom right of my computer screen, waiting for the noon hour to pass, and then finally waiting for my phone to ring.
And finally… it did.
It was our case worker, who has a voice that I can’t tell either way if she’s delivering good news or bad, but a few words into our conversation… she said “I have some disappointing news.”
In the end, they chose the other family mainly based on the fact that they’ve been waiting longer. Mother F*****, I feel like we’ve been waiting a lifetime. But at the end of the day (as my husband loves to say) … at least this little one is getting a loving home. 
All good news.  I just wish it was our home.


But then again, we’ll always have Spain…….

Click here to check out the rest of the photos

Keep On Keeping On...

I have one word to describe how I've been feeling lately – antsy. You know that restless, impatient and fidgety feeling.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs – WHY DOES THIS WAIT HAVE TO BE SO F****** TORTUOUS!

(I have a few other choice words I could throw out there as well)

And the worst part about it – is that we are only into our sixth month of waiting. How the H-E-double-hockey-stick am I going to hold out for the next 20 or so months? Really, how are other prospective adoptive parents doing it? I would love to know.

I mean, there are certainly things to distract me from constantly thinking about when, and if I will ever become a mom, like work, dinners out in the city, cooking tapas for 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon with my husband, rowing at 6:00 in the morning when the steam is coming off the lake, my family and of course my very supportive friends.

But honestly, is that enough to hold me over – to keep me sane?

I know people have all kinds of advice about how you can make the time go by faster, like training for a marathon or learning a new language. Those sound great. They really do. But at this point, I don't think I am  feeling "Zen" enough to engage in those very productive activities. I guess I am feeling a little sorry for myself. Maybe because it's been raining like mad for the past 12 hours and I am really overtired lately… and cranky.

We actually have a scheduled call with one of the managers who runs the domestic program at our agency tomorrow morning – and while it sounds so appealing to spend a minimum of $30,000 (plus all the other potential expenses) and have a baby come into our home many, many months sooner than sticking it out in the Ethiopia program – I just can't seem to wrap my head or my heart around that.

It makes my stomach hurt. Not adopting domestically. I think that's an absolutely wonderful thing. I just mean choosing one or the other.

So what to do?????

Maybe I'll take some advice from one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs...

"The only thing I knew how to do

Was to keep on keeping on like a bird that flew

Tangled up in blue."

A Glimmer of Hope...

Interesting news from our agency this week. It seems staff members in Ethiopia have expanded their horizons and are now researching the needs of children in the Afar region, which is in the northeastern part of the country.

The Afar region of Ethiopia

Of course I immediately emailed our case worker and asked her about this new development and she said “we are hopeful that it will mean more referrals coming soon. And we haven’t seen any major issues with MOWA (Ministry Office of Women’s Affairs) at this point, despite all the rumors of doom and gloom.”

Finally… a little bit of good news.

I did a little digging around about this region – and it seems like an absolutely fascinating place.


One British tourist, who spent his vacation checking out the one-of-a-kind landscape dotted with surreal salt plains and volcanoes, described it like this:

“It's a harsh environment full of strange smells and sights. But it's like nowhere else and an amazing and different thing to see. The whole place is made up of colors and views you get to see on a scale like nowhere else. The heat can be almost unbearable. But it was all worth it.”

You never know… maybe Ken and I will be making a trek there someday in the near future.

Dallol Volcano

Photograph by Carsten Peter

Sulfur, salt, and other minerals color the crater of Dallol, a volcano in the hottest place on Earth, Ethiopia's Danakil Depression. At 157 feet below sea level, Dallol is also the world's lowest land volcano.

'Persevere and Never Give Up'

Once a week I get a Google alert about ‘Ethiopia’ and ‘Ethiopia adoption’. This week, it popped up on the blackberry as I was walking into work, and the first article that I saw was from the Huffington Post called “Accelerating Progress to Help the World’s Orphans.” I clicked on the link and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was a blog entry written by Dr. Jane Aronson, who ‘s the founder of Worldwide Orphans Foundation. She’s also been a practicing adoption medicine specialist for nearly 20 years (but I believe she just left her pediatric practice in NYC to concentrate more on the foundation).

Ken and I actually met with her at the beginning of our adoption process to talk about different options and what types of challenges we’d face going the international route. She’s a smart, no nonsense kind of woman that you immediately trust. It’s the same feeling I used to get when I watched Peter Jennings on ABC World News Tonight. You just trusted every word that came out of his mouth. I had also previously interviewed her for an article for FoxNews.com shortly after the Haiti earthquake hit to talk about all the uphill battles the Haitian orphans were going to face moving forward in the wake of that devastating disaster. So we were peeps (not really, but at least in my mind we were… a little bit)

So – I just wanted to share her blog with all of you. She gets right to the heart of what’s happening in the world of international adoption, and as my husband put it:

“You can hear the sadness from the lack of movement by the governments. It seems like no one really cares enough – at least on a government level –  about the children to take action. Humanity is spoken about more than performed.”


Journal from the field #4, June 2, 2011
Dr. Aronson in Bulgaria, May 28-June 2, 2011


After a week of meetings dedicated to interim care planning, foster care, group homes and domestic adoption in Ethiopia and Africa, followed by a week of meetings with government officials in charge of the future of orphans and vulnerable children in Bulgaria, I am reminded painfully of how children essentially can end up lost in rhetoric and good intentions. Agencies are well-meaning, but slow-moving and bureaucratic. Funding is scarce in impoverished countries where millions of orphans are stuck in limbo... down the cracks and lost and anonymous.


Three thousand children enter Bulgarian orphanages every year because there is no change in culture. Roma women have no education and access to family planning and gender issues for Roma women are paralyzing. Women who have five and six children may be left by their husband, and fathers and brothers may decide to place those children in orphanages so that the mother/wife can remarry. There is no prenatal care for poor women in Bulgaria. 


There is no support of breastfeeding. The stigma attached to being Roma looms large in Bulgaria and many Eastern European countries with large numbers of gypsies. Everyone knows why there is abandonment, and now is the time to try and prevent it and provide social services and education to impoverished women around the world. Then and only then will children be helped.


I am proud of the work of WWO, but am troubled by slow progress and increasing numbers of orphanages and orphans, as we crawl to solve the problems of millions of children living without families all over the world. The U.S., world governments, aid organizations and NGOs are all poised to make a difference, but there is confusion and a lack of strategy. There is often competition when there should be none. We can all have a role and we all bring different solutions and skills to the table.


My role and the role of WWO in the politics of orphans and vulnerable children (OVC) are clear. I am fortunate to be a pediatrician and a former teacher of young children. I know the science of early childhood development and have experienced over two decades of observation and medical care of orphans who have been lucky enough to become part of a permanent family through international and domestic adoption. There are no more lessons to be learned. The work is clear. It is time to move faster and smarter and money will finally be the important part of the equation. I told many people this week that WWO is not asking for money when we meet with governments and other organizations. We bring creative ideas and money to the discussion and we are eager to make things happen.


We are able to raise awareness and WWO is designed to move the agenda forward. That is our niche. We must stand for action now. It is a lonely fight sometimes, but the cost to children is too high to back off and take easy ways out.


I am reminded of the delicate and simple truth about orphans when I meet them face to face. Stanislav is a year of age and he is puny and frightened. He is a little creature not able to look at you for too long. He becomes uncomfortable and skittish when I gently touch him and sit by him quietly. He starts to rock rhythmically and as the rocking speeds up, he looks furtively for his Baba. She comes and picks him up and he nestles in her bosom and then in a moment smiles at her and feels safe. He is an unregulated animal with no inner soothing skills. He is in a "fight or flight" mode and his Baba


On my long trip home yesterday, I decided to watch a movie and found a wonderful film that made me cry and laugh, but more importantly it inspired me to keep working and advocating for children. The movie, which was recently nominated at Cannes, is called "Lessons of a Dream." This German film, directed by Sebastian Grobler, is a based on a true story about Konrad Koch, an Oxford-educated English teacher who was hired by a German secondary school to teach the German boys English in 1874, when Bismarck and Germany ruled the world. Konrad Koch, a visionary teacher, ends up using football (soccer), which was well-established in England, to teach the boys English and sportsmanship. He, of course, gets into a lot of trouble with parents, administrators and other teachers as he advances his progressive curriculum. The boys become egalitarian and learn the value of "fair play," which is Konrad's highest priority.


Konrad is eventually fired, but then through some miracle, a government delegation arrives to assess the value of football, and at the same time a friend of Konrad's from the UK brings a football team to play Konrad's boys. The village gathers and attends the game. The German team wins the match, and the German government delegation supports football at the school. 


Historically, it takes well into the 20th century, the late 1920s, for football to be universally accepted in Germany. The story is beautifully acted by the boys and I was inspired by Konrad Koch's fight for fair play, creative teaching and the use of sports as a dynamic way to build character, self-esteem and independence in youngsters. Indeed, this is the brand of WWO in its work with children without families or with fragmented families around the world. The courage of the boys and their teacher was remarkable and I was reminded, once again, how courageous our work is finally. We stand for principles and we persevere and never give up.


And even though thoughts of giving up on this adoption process creep into my mind on occasion – because maybe if we did give up –  all this pain, frustration and heartache would just go away – I am not going to do that. Instead I’m going to take Dr. Aronson’s advice… to persevere and never give up.