Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Addressing the Negativity

I’ve had this blog for nearly two years – and in that time – I have never received a negative comment. Well, that was until yesterday when an “anonymous” commenter (anonymous of course because they didn’t have the spine to identify themselves) left this:

"I think the kids look unhappy because you purchased them and they have a legitimate reason for being unhappy"

Needless to say, I don’t find this comment surprising, but I do find it infuriating on so many levels.

First of all, this person has no idea what our story is. About how we came to be a family. About the heartbreaking circumstances surrounding their relinquishment. They know absolutely nothing. Yet, they feel like they can just throw out that comment… anonymously of course.

I was having a conversation with my husband about it last night – and he said something that put it all in perspective for me. “We do not live in a perfect world.”

If we did – there would be no need for adoption because birth families would have everything they need to raise their children. They would have access to good health care and plenty of food and clean water – and the phrases poverty and food insecurity wouldn’t exist in our vocabulary. If this was a perfect world – there wouldn’t be an estimated 153 million orphans worldwide.

If this was a perfect world, my children would still be living with their birth mother and siblings in Ethiopia. Their birth father would still be alive and they would be thriving in their small village.

Unfortunately…. this is NOT a perfect world. It’s pretty $%*&@# up – and all we can do is our best to live the lives we were meant to. In our case, it’s raising these three amazing children to be the best possible human beings they can be. To give them every opportunity in the world to be happy and successful. To instill in them respect for themselves and others, to have faith, to love their family and friends and to embrace all cultures as well as their own.

When it all comes down to it… adoption… just like the world we live is absolutely not perfect.

But when it’s done right and ethically, and you’re able to make a personal connection with the birth family, and everyone is on the same page – there really is nothing more amazing or beautiful than adoption.

Trust me. I live it every day.